Stranger in a Strange Land

This phrase has been in my head for awhile now. It resonates with my feelings  of "culture shock" or adjustment that happens when living abroad/immersing myself in another culture. It doesn't matter how many times I travel, it always happens. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it certainly isn't easy.  I will try and describe it, as best I can. Mostly because its my blog and I want to. It's really impossible to understand unless you've done it. I'm sorry if this becomes convoluted or difficult to follow. I love comments so if you have any questions feel free! I'll try to answer them as best I can.

When you travel, especially from home for a long period of time, you go from being extremely connected to a stranger. For instance, I left my hometown where I had years of friendships, family, stories, of connections on multiple levels to a town I had never heard of. I only sort of speak one of the main languages here. I know almost no one in Israel. I don't want to give you a false picture: I spend plenty of time with people (it's hard to get away actually). But often I don't know what people are talking about. I went from total ease and control of my surroundings to feeling confusion and out of control.

Yet its more than just food, or language, or jet lag. Culture shock makes everything become slightly strange. Cheese (which yes is food) tastes different here. It's still cheese, but its got more of a bitter taste. Clothing, once a fashion statement, must now be thought out. Even though it's really hot here, i wear pants all the time. Also, I have to make sure I cover my shoulders and chest. I could probably go around in a tank top and shorts, but it would be like a girl walking around the mall in a bikini. Even my identity changes. I am no longer Katie Simpson the recent college graduate, sister, or crazy driver. I am Katie Simpson the AMERICAN GIRL. It gives me a lot to think about.

Thinking about this can be both great and awful.  I can reinvent myself in new ways. I try different fashions (and kind of like wearing pants in the heat). I get to look at family from a different light (mom you would love it: kids live next door to their parents.  If we were Bedouin, you wouldn't have to call me. you'd just yell at me through a window). I learn about Israel from a very different perspective.I get to teach others about Reform Judaism, English, and  the weather in Washington DC (we talk about the weather a lot). Then again, I also over think small details. Are my clothes appropriate? Am I responding appropriately? I can get anxious over seemingly small details.  Such is life I suppose, and something else I can work on.

In the states we tend to think of ourselves as individuals, do our own thing, we define ourselves, nobody else.  There's some truth to that: I don't just become a silver puddle outside of social situations (yay 90s american pop culture!). But my friendships, my family, my social and cultural context define me as well. They provide a framework for my own identity and the foundation for my points of view on most things. Right now I feel like I have a foot in two frames. I'm not really in the American frame,but I'm not really in the Israeli Bedouin frame either. I'm not just a stranger but I am estranged from both lands.

I knew this would happen going in. Most of the time, I don't mind it. I see it mostly as a growing experience. Oddly, I feel far more at ease here than I have in other countries like France and India. I always have felt at home here. Nevertheless, I'm still adjusting here, even as I begin to settle (I think?) into a routine. Sorry for the long post. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Let me know what you think!

Much love as always,
KAS