Change in Plans, and Moving Ice Mountains

Hello fans or forced readers (you choose),

So.... I have been totally lame at writing this. My b. A lot has happened lately, but for many reasons I just don't feel like it should go on this blog. If you know: you know and I love you so much. And if you don't, well don't worry about it. And no, it does not mean that I love you less.

Work has been interesting. We had some major electricity issues the past two weeks because of rain. Yes RAIN HAS COME TO ISRAEL. So no internet, no phones, it was a bit crazy. Of course, since my job is based around the internet (and because i don't know what to do with myself without it) i went kind of crazy. Luckily, I have a good singing voice so I could sing. Seriously: nothing is quite as fun as pretending to be Louie Armstrong (try it sometime)

To continue my weather report: It rained for like a week and I thought: am I in the burg again? No, because in williamsburg there's rain but we don't get giant amounts of mud because there are these things called trees. This is the desert. There are very few trees. But: plant life just suddenly appears post rains. The most gorgeous flowers: yellow, white, purple, and orange fill the free space. Goats and sheep are herded around town to feed (not kidding, the sheep were taking up one lane of the road: hilarious).Now that we have a bit of a break its beautiful outside.

Other thing: You can't complain about rain in Israel. Doesn't matter if you are in the North where it's wetter or the Negev (desert). Rain is so important and needed, that any rain is good rain. Even if you are soaked through your clothes. Don't complain ISRAEL NEEDS THE FRESHWATER.

I also have continued to travel: I went to Haifa again this past weekend. Met up with some other couchsurfers, went hiking, and just took it easy. It really took me til this weekend to realize how I felt "finished" with Israel. I'm sure there are more places to visit (such as Petra, which I hope to go to this weekend), but something inside of me just said: my journey here is done. And if I've learned anything in my time here it's that my gut is pretty damn smart. So it's time to go.

So, while I planned on staying through Passover, I realized I can't. I feel this need to leave. I haven't quite felt something like it before. I talked with my bosses, and they understand. So change of plans: I am going to the UK with work in early march. I'll be on a business trip (wow I sound cool) til the 12th. I will then travel around the UK til the 30th (any suggestions of where to go would appreciate it but I am def visiting London). And then... i AM FLYING TO ICELAND.

Katie, why are you going to Iceland? Fabulous question, thank you for asking. So, as I was talking to my parents about changing plans (mom is just excited i'm coming home a month earlier and making passover, but someone needs to sing on key with dad!) we booked me a ticket home. Iceland air is actually quite cheap, and they give you an option of doing an extended layover in Reykjavik (i think i spelled that right... who knows). So they asked if I wanted to, and I said OF COURSE.

Background note. I have had a strange ability to travel to most of the I countries in the world. Now I have done: Ireland, Italy, Israel, India, Indonesia and soon to add Iceland. The last official ones are Iran and Iraq.... Ivory Coast doesn't count because in Wikipedia it is Cote d'Ivoire.

So now... I am super excited about going. I have no idea what I'll do in either country...but i'll figure it out. I always do. Well I know few things
UK
-Edinburgh
-fried mars bar
-heart attack from fried mars bar
-See the rabbits at St. Andrews
-Pretend I am Catherine from Wutherine Heights when I see moors.
- Pretend I am not pretending to to be Catherine like every other girl at the moors
-See what Oxford is all about
- Go to London
- Spend all my money at the Globe theater
- Learn what it's like to be a pauper
- Write the new Oliver Twist

Iceland
-Learn how to pronounce Reykjavik
- Explore Reykjavik
-CLIMB A MOVING ICE MOUNTAIN (ok a a glacier but ice mountain sounds cooler). or something with Ice
- eat fish (?)
- learn some random icelandish words. and figure out what they call the icelandic language
- try not to sound like a dumb american
-try not to freeze to death. In april.

All humor aside: it's actually a bit overwhelming all of this. I need to go but I'm not ready. I will miss so many people. I told everyone yesterday the news and they were all saying: who's going to call you such pretty names as u?? And it's true: I don't think I will have many co workers calling me "my heart" "my life" etc. These are terms of endearment in Arabic. In all likelihood, I will never see these people again. And that's really really hard. Because they are amazing people. And writing this feels like saying goodbye.

There is a Buddhist meditation: you imagine something you love, like say a book, and you imagine it destroyed. Not because you are a masochist, but because all things end, and doing that helps you form a detachment from the article. To know that, though you love this book, you may not always have it. Thing is: I didn't realize how attached I was to this place until I get ready to leave. Ironic I suppose, but mostly bittersweet. But, I know for some reason, I just can't stay.

Am I excited to come back to the states? YES. But I am also nervous. Living abroad changes you. Not so much the Eat Pray Love cliche change (in some ways I suppose...) but in the cultural adaptations. I have adapted to being here. Saying thanks and please all the time... GAH SHOOT ME WHY? I use their hand motions. I am not patient in lines. My planning skills have been seriously diminished. My fear of guns in the open has been eradicated. I'm used to being in a cafe and not understanding the conversations next to me.

These are all tiny little things, but when I go home: it's not gonna be a picnic. I'll be so happy to see all of you. But it will be an adjustment. I will constantly talk about people you don't know. I will be excited by seemingly trivial things. I will be tired of explaining other things/perhaps offended at seemingly banal but really ridiculous questions (like no i didn't live in a tent. please DON'T ASK THAT). I won't be the same girl I was 6 months ago. And you won't be the same either, and perhaps that will be hard for me too. I'm nervous, because I don't really know what my reaction will be to being home. I'll find out soon enough I suppose.

Until then: I am trying to get those last minute things in: going to Petra, perhaps finally visiting the west bank (terrible... i know). Finishing up projects for work. Moving to my last house while I'm here. And deal with the emotions of leaving/applying for things in the future. So... yeah a lot. But if I have learned anything while being here, it's that emotions while strong and can really affect me, are temporary. I now have the awareness that they can affect my perception, but I choose my reality (call it what you will, but it has some truth!).

I'll try to keep you updated. But a lot of what is going on with me is emotional. And I love talking it out with friends, but it's hard when all I can say is  I am x, y, or z emotion. And it wouldn't make for a very good blog post....

whew. what. a. post. thanks for sticking it out with me! Love you all, and I'll hopefully write soon

xoxo,
KAS
 

Food, and the ongoing culture shift

Hello, Friends, family, and random strangers that stumble on my blog,

So: what's new in my life? fantastic question. thank you for asking.

`1. Bureaucracy. Went AGAIN to Beersheva to talk to the interior ministry. because my visa expires tomorrow and i still hadn't heard anything from the Jewish agency. They said they hadn't heard anything and wait for a phone call. I reminded them about how my visa expires. they shrugged. I wanted to laugh. In the states this would be  A BIG DEAL. but being an american jewish girl.... it isn't. so. we'll see what happens. *sigh*

2. I'm sick. head cold. colored mucus. not fun. tea. honey. lemon. salt. soup. also: biscuits with honey is delicious and makes my throat feel amazing

3. Still busy with work. Went to Jerusalem for a bazaar on Thursday. A slow day, but I think we made some good contacts for the future. Plus we might get some tourism out of it, so it wasn't a total waste. just a frickin long day. and this cold has taken my energy. blegh.

4. Getting geared up for sending holiday love back home. I won't say anymore: but you'll know when you get it.

Other things going on in life: clash of cultures continue! Basically here's what happens. I don't mind meeting people and being a guest. It's flattering, but I can't do it for like 3-4 hours. Most of the time in Lakiya, that seems to be the norm. You sit down, usually for tea. You chat, you stay for a meal, or a snack. And you really can't leave until you have eaten. It actually drives me nuts, for personal reasons.

I won't go into too much detail: but I have had a long and complicated relationship with food. Diets, emotional eating, social eating, it goes on and on. I don't really want to explain it here. What i do want to say is at this point in my life eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full is important for me. Additionally, I can't forbid or restrict foods: it takes me to a really negative place.

Normally,at Khadra's, it's really chill and I don't usually worry about it. When I'm at other people's houses, it becomes a totally different issue. Leaving without eating becomes an insult. And then they pressure you to eat a lot. I get it: food is still a big deal in their community. Many people 40s and up experienced hunger. But I can't explain my relationship to food to every house i go to, nor can i do it justice in Arabic. I try and strategically plan it now, but at times I get frustrated that it becomes impossible to leave someone's house.

Which is what I did today. I had to go over to my old host family: the Abd'ullahs, today to hand back a cord i accidentally took with me. I came around 1230, having a small snack before I went. We had tea, and then I went with them to the grandmother's house for a big family lunch. It was nice, I really enjoy that extended family, and it looks like I will start tutoring one of the kids in English! But after lunch, tea, and dessert, i was tired and ready to come back to Khadra's.

So, somethings still take adjusting to. I'm hoping to start putting up more photos. They aren't the best, but i'm going to try and start being more proactive in taking photos/having photos of me here as well (especially for you mom).

That's all. super tired. gonna hit the sack. Much love,
KAS

Culture shock take two!

 this is in response to apple to zipper. It was getting long. so i'm posting it here

I don't think its the land. Actually when i visited years ago, people told me it would feel like coming home. frankly i thought it was a bunch of malarky. and then i got here...and it did. There's just something in this land, more than beauty, it resonates with something inside me. Like it's my magnetic opposite.

Culture shock is the hardest part of travelling for me.But sometimes the shock as hard and as disconcerting as it may be, is good for me. It reminds me again to rely on my friends. It forces me outside my comfort zone and pushes me to be a bigger person. I gain a different perspective on issues of all kinds, from political, to preparing food. I know I won't be the same when I come home, and I think I needed this, to really make decisions about what I want to do next (grad schools, careers, etc).

In the end, cultural adjustments are hard, but it's like running, you know as you huff and puff that the end it will be worthwhile. Accept it, and life gets easier. You just need patience.

But here's a list of some of my favorite things  that are different. Note: this is my experience in one bedouin town and should not represent all Bedouins or the Jewish Israeli society. I don't want to give too broad of assumptions.

• the emphasis on family. i think it's amazing how everyone lives nearby, and it's very tight-nit. It gives a special resonance to the community. Its more than just friendliness, its blood.
• the pace of life. it's slower, people take time to have conversations, tea, or pick people up and drive them to work. Even if it's only 10 minutes, these pauses show how important social ties and community is. Its both affirming of wonderful values and very relaxing.
• the hospitality. People are so friendly and welcoming, even if they can't understand my mediocre Arabic. I can't tell you how many conversations i've had where i understood about 20% of what someone was saying. And yet they don't seem to mind. Also, I can't say how thankful I am for my host family. They are so nice, welcoming, accommodating, and overall making my transition much easier. 

Other things will come in time. I might start putting up lists of funny things that happen here just to give flavor on the odd days. Thanks for the question A to Z. If you have anymore, feel free to ask. I may not make a whole post to it, but I'll try and respond.

Much love as always,
Katie

Stranger in a Strange Land

This phrase has been in my head for awhile now. It resonates with my feelings  of "culture shock" or adjustment that happens when living abroad/immersing myself in another culture. It doesn't matter how many times I travel, it always happens. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it certainly isn't easy.  I will try and describe it, as best I can. Mostly because its my blog and I want to. It's really impossible to understand unless you've done it. I'm sorry if this becomes convoluted or difficult to follow. I love comments so if you have any questions feel free! I'll try to answer them as best I can.

When you travel, especially from home for a long period of time, you go from being extremely connected to a stranger. For instance, I left my hometown where I had years of friendships, family, stories, of connections on multiple levels to a town I had never heard of. I only sort of speak one of the main languages here. I know almost no one in Israel. I don't want to give you a false picture: I spend plenty of time with people (it's hard to get away actually). But often I don't know what people are talking about. I went from total ease and control of my surroundings to feeling confusion and out of control.

Yet its more than just food, or language, or jet lag. Culture shock makes everything become slightly strange. Cheese (which yes is food) tastes different here. It's still cheese, but its got more of a bitter taste. Clothing, once a fashion statement, must now be thought out. Even though it's really hot here, i wear pants all the time. Also, I have to make sure I cover my shoulders and chest. I could probably go around in a tank top and shorts, but it would be like a girl walking around the mall in a bikini. Even my identity changes. I am no longer Katie Simpson the recent college graduate, sister, or crazy driver. I am Katie Simpson the AMERICAN GIRL. It gives me a lot to think about.

Thinking about this can be both great and awful.  I can reinvent myself in new ways. I try different fashions (and kind of like wearing pants in the heat). I get to look at family from a different light (mom you would love it: kids live next door to their parents.  If we were Bedouin, you wouldn't have to call me. you'd just yell at me through a window). I learn about Israel from a very different perspective.I get to teach others about Reform Judaism, English, and  the weather in Washington DC (we talk about the weather a lot). Then again, I also over think small details. Are my clothes appropriate? Am I responding appropriately? I can get anxious over seemingly small details.  Such is life I suppose, and something else I can work on.

In the states we tend to think of ourselves as individuals, do our own thing, we define ourselves, nobody else.  There's some truth to that: I don't just become a silver puddle outside of social situations (yay 90s american pop culture!). But my friendships, my family, my social and cultural context define me as well. They provide a framework for my own identity and the foundation for my points of view on most things. Right now I feel like I have a foot in two frames. I'm not really in the American frame,but I'm not really in the Israeli Bedouin frame either. I'm not just a stranger but I am estranged from both lands.

I knew this would happen going in. Most of the time, I don't mind it. I see it mostly as a growing experience. Oddly, I feel far more at ease here than I have in other countries like France and India. I always have felt at home here. Nevertheless, I'm still adjusting here, even as I begin to settle (I think?) into a routine. Sorry for the long post. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Let me know what you think!

Much love as always,
KAS