Where did 5 1/2 months go? And Transitions

Good Evening Minions--I mean readers,

It's nearly time. I have two days left of work, and 3 1/2 days (because airports aren't really being in a country, but really transition hubs) left in Israel. It's strange. I have a lot of emotions about it. I'm ready for the next adventure, and I'm scared because I don't really know what that will be. I'm ready to leave Israel, but I will miss it. I'm ready to see friends and family but I worry about the reverse culture shock.

Things I will miss:

• My coworkers, and the few friends I have made here
• Fresh fruit and veggies (seriously. i had fresh kiwi the other day...it was so good)
• The flowers filling the fields, and random animals around town
• I can't help BUT learn Arabic here
• Falafel and kebab shops. Some of the best/cheapest falafel in the world is in my town. i will be so sad to leave it
• The opportunity to travel internationally (lets face it: unless i decide to work abroad again. Katie is gonna be a po po person)
• Knowing I have a job (I have some possibilities...but most things are in the air). 

Things I am excited for

• UK, Finally seeing St. Andrews, oh and ICELAND
• Being in the same time zone as friends and family. SO SO SO EXCITED
• My parent's wine cellar. 
• My animals
• Ridiculously long and luxurious baths
• Not having to eat meat anymore
•  Visiting friends at WM, USC, and roadtrips in general (i'm looking at you ohio peeps and i have another one for Disney World!)
• My car. Yes I believe in public transportation. But I look forward to my reunion with George (my car)
• My room. And not living out of a suitcase
• Buying a new computer
• Reconnecting with my Jewish community
• Moving onto my next "thing" whatever that is. 

   Things I'm nervous about

• Finally going to the Dentist (it's been awhile...and I haven't flossed)
• Losing my Arabic
• Disconnect with friends and family
• Finding a job at least for the summer 

Let me be honest: I think I'm mostly scared about the people. Everyone changes in 6 months, and god knows that after my experiences in Israel I feel like I've grown a lot. Not this: brand new me that you see in the movies etc. But I can't help but have changed some because of it. And when I feel like I need people the most to understand, I'm scared they won't.

A little background: I came back from India to one of the toughest periods of my life. A huge amount of fallout with friends...a terrible roommate. The last thing I want is to struggle when I come home. I'm tired. I need rest and emotional healing. I don't want to go through that again (then again who does want to deal with depression?) And I guess I'm scared that I won't have that space to recharge and think.

So to all of you out there. I'm going to be different when I get back. Be patient with me. And I apologize if I don't give you every detail of my life in Israel. I don't expect every detail of your last 6 months... and after the 10th person I'll probably have a schpiel. Try not to take it personally.

Stay Classy my lovely readers,
KAS

So this one time I went to Jordan...

Bonjourno amigos,

It's a beautiful sunny day here in Israel. Spring has come to Lakiya! Its still cold sometimes, but flowers are blooming, and it's lovely in the sunlight. Good times.

So, as my time here winds down, I decided to go to Petra, Jordan. I just HAD to go, especially since I was so close! Also, being in Israel and seeing the mountains of Jordan rise up in the east, my curiosity was always there. What was on the other side of those mountains? Answer: more mountains.

Here's how it happened. I met a german girl, Pia, while in Haifa. We went hiking with a mutual friend and one thing led to another and I invited her to go with me to Petra. And she said yes. So we booked a hostel, and planned to meet in Eilat on Friday and then cross the border, which went by without any issues.

This was my first time walking across a border. It was odd, open air, minimum security (Israel cares only when you ENTER the country). After getting scolded by an Israeli about my passport (it's not in the best shape) we crossed no problem. Grabbed an overpriced taxi and drove to Petra, another 2 hours. By then, it was a bit too late to go and see sites, so we wander around... and met two Bedouin guys.

They were Abdullah and Mahmoud or the alcoholic and chain smoker. They were flirty and pushy, and really had only one thing on their mind. It was funny, annoying, and sad all at the same time.  Funny because they were like high school boys. They tried to hard to show off (they pretended to know Japanese), buy us meals and tea etc etc. I could see through it, and it was funny to watch them keep trying and such.

Annoying because they didn't really see me as a person. My nos were never taken seriously (if so... you stop flirting). They didn't get that no i don't like to be fed by you. Or that maybe I didn't want to smoke/drink/etc. I kept saying no. They kept teasing me about saying no. That pissed me off the most. I was supposed to just smile and go along with everything. Because once again, a woman is meant to nod, smile, and be willing.  I compromised and didn't punch em.

You could say oh how sexist/antiquated the Bedouin are. I suppose they are to an extent, but you see it in the States too. I mean just look at our love of romance (women's nos aren't REALLY no, she just "doesn't know" what she wants). I could go on, but there will be more time for that later.

The only reason I hung out with them was to stay with Pia. But we ended up spending Friday evening with them and Saturday evening, and they drove us to the border on Sunday. They sort of worked in Tourism, but kept blowing it off to hang out with us. It didn't make much sense, but whatever.

It was sad because they weren't happy. Abdullah drank more than anyone I have ever met. He put away 500 ml of pure vodka. For breakfast. Mahmoud went through 3-4 packs of cigarettes a day. While Abdullah didn't talk about it as much, Mahmoud just wants to get out of Petra and go somewhere else. They use alcohol, cigarettes, and girls to distract themselves. It's quite sad. I couldn't help but think of Buddhism. People try to escape their problems with "pleasure" but really it doesn't help you, but kills you. But it's not my role to save them.

But Petra the place was gorgeous. Rocks of multiple colors swirling, and these amazing buildings carved from the stone.If you want to see some of my photos go here. It doesn't do the place justice, but it's a start. We spent a full day walking on Saturday (7:30-4:30) doing most of the sites, all the way to the end at the Monastery (lemme tell you: it's far) and the end of the world (also gorgeous). The next day we did two hours walking to the place of high sacrafice (they aren't lying when they say it's high up). We covered almost everything, but without a guide. We could have learned more, but it was nice to be outside with nature, and seeing such amazing things.

Fun side fact: Petra used to have hundreds of Bedouins living there. In the 1980s the government forced them to move. So now you have two towns next to Petra: the peasants (or farmers) town and the Bedouin town a bit further away. A few people still live there, but most left. Tourism does strange things to places. Everyone is pushing you to spend money, to do this or that. You aren't a person, you are a dollar bill. I hate it but I feel powerless to stop it as well.

So after that, I came back to Israel. it was a long day, and with all the buses i took, I didn't get back til 930 PM but i made it. I'm glad I went to Petra. It was a crazy weekend, but good at the same time. I have another 10 days in Israel working etc. I may finally go to the west bank this weekend. I may not. We'll see.

It's hard because I am trying to finish projects for work and feeling stymied too. Nothing really ends I suppose, but new things begin. I'm so ready to move on, and waiting for it is making me antsy. Hands are in too many pots. And honestly, I'm tired. I don't know if running around this weekend will really make me feel better.

Love to you all and more updates soon,
KAS

Change in Plans, and Moving Ice Mountains

Hello fans or forced readers (you choose),

So.... I have been totally lame at writing this. My b. A lot has happened lately, but for many reasons I just don't feel like it should go on this blog. If you know: you know and I love you so much. And if you don't, well don't worry about it. And no, it does not mean that I love you less.

Work has been interesting. We had some major electricity issues the past two weeks because of rain. Yes RAIN HAS COME TO ISRAEL. So no internet, no phones, it was a bit crazy. Of course, since my job is based around the internet (and because i don't know what to do with myself without it) i went kind of crazy. Luckily, I have a good singing voice so I could sing. Seriously: nothing is quite as fun as pretending to be Louie Armstrong (try it sometime)

To continue my weather report: It rained for like a week and I thought: am I in the burg again? No, because in williamsburg there's rain but we don't get giant amounts of mud because there are these things called trees. This is the desert. There are very few trees. But: plant life just suddenly appears post rains. The most gorgeous flowers: yellow, white, purple, and orange fill the free space. Goats and sheep are herded around town to feed (not kidding, the sheep were taking up one lane of the road: hilarious).Now that we have a bit of a break its beautiful outside.

Other thing: You can't complain about rain in Israel. Doesn't matter if you are in the North where it's wetter or the Negev (desert). Rain is so important and needed, that any rain is good rain. Even if you are soaked through your clothes. Don't complain ISRAEL NEEDS THE FRESHWATER.

I also have continued to travel: I went to Haifa again this past weekend. Met up with some other couchsurfers, went hiking, and just took it easy. It really took me til this weekend to realize how I felt "finished" with Israel. I'm sure there are more places to visit (such as Petra, which I hope to go to this weekend), but something inside of me just said: my journey here is done. And if I've learned anything in my time here it's that my gut is pretty damn smart. So it's time to go.

So, while I planned on staying through Passover, I realized I can't. I feel this need to leave. I haven't quite felt something like it before. I talked with my bosses, and they understand. So change of plans: I am going to the UK with work in early march. I'll be on a business trip (wow I sound cool) til the 12th. I will then travel around the UK til the 30th (any suggestions of where to go would appreciate it but I am def visiting London). And then... i AM FLYING TO ICELAND.

Katie, why are you going to Iceland? Fabulous question, thank you for asking. So, as I was talking to my parents about changing plans (mom is just excited i'm coming home a month earlier and making passover, but someone needs to sing on key with dad!) we booked me a ticket home. Iceland air is actually quite cheap, and they give you an option of doing an extended layover in Reykjavik (i think i spelled that right... who knows). So they asked if I wanted to, and I said OF COURSE.

Background note. I have had a strange ability to travel to most of the I countries in the world. Now I have done: Ireland, Italy, Israel, India, Indonesia and soon to add Iceland. The last official ones are Iran and Iraq.... Ivory Coast doesn't count because in Wikipedia it is Cote d'Ivoire.

So now... I am super excited about going. I have no idea what I'll do in either country...but i'll figure it out. I always do. Well I know few things
UK
-Edinburgh
-fried mars bar
-heart attack from fried mars bar
-See the rabbits at St. Andrews
-Pretend I am Catherine from Wutherine Heights when I see moors.
- Pretend I am not pretending to to be Catherine like every other girl at the moors
-See what Oxford is all about
- Go to London
- Spend all my money at the Globe theater
- Learn what it's like to be a pauper
- Write the new Oliver Twist

Iceland
-Learn how to pronounce Reykjavik
- Explore Reykjavik
-CLIMB A MOVING ICE MOUNTAIN (ok a a glacier but ice mountain sounds cooler). or something with Ice
- eat fish (?)
- learn some random icelandish words. and figure out what they call the icelandic language
- try not to sound like a dumb american
-try not to freeze to death. In april.

All humor aside: it's actually a bit overwhelming all of this. I need to go but I'm not ready. I will miss so many people. I told everyone yesterday the news and they were all saying: who's going to call you such pretty names as u?? And it's true: I don't think I will have many co workers calling me "my heart" "my life" etc. These are terms of endearment in Arabic. In all likelihood, I will never see these people again. And that's really really hard. Because they are amazing people. And writing this feels like saying goodbye.

There is a Buddhist meditation: you imagine something you love, like say a book, and you imagine it destroyed. Not because you are a masochist, but because all things end, and doing that helps you form a detachment from the article. To know that, though you love this book, you may not always have it. Thing is: I didn't realize how attached I was to this place until I get ready to leave. Ironic I suppose, but mostly bittersweet. But, I know for some reason, I just can't stay.

Am I excited to come back to the states? YES. But I am also nervous. Living abroad changes you. Not so much the Eat Pray Love cliche change (in some ways I suppose...) but in the cultural adaptations. I have adapted to being here. Saying thanks and please all the time... GAH SHOOT ME WHY? I use their hand motions. I am not patient in lines. My planning skills have been seriously diminished. My fear of guns in the open has been eradicated. I'm used to being in a cafe and not understanding the conversations next to me.

These are all tiny little things, but when I go home: it's not gonna be a picnic. I'll be so happy to see all of you. But it will be an adjustment. I will constantly talk about people you don't know. I will be excited by seemingly trivial things. I will be tired of explaining other things/perhaps offended at seemingly banal but really ridiculous questions (like no i didn't live in a tent. please DON'T ASK THAT). I won't be the same girl I was 6 months ago. And you won't be the same either, and perhaps that will be hard for me too. I'm nervous, because I don't really know what my reaction will be to being home. I'll find out soon enough I suppose.

Until then: I am trying to get those last minute things in: going to Petra, perhaps finally visiting the west bank (terrible... i know). Finishing up projects for work. Moving to my last house while I'm here. And deal with the emotions of leaving/applying for things in the future. So... yeah a lot. But if I have learned anything while being here, it's that emotions while strong and can really affect me, are temporary. I now have the awareness that they can affect my perception, but I choose my reality (call it what you will, but it has some truth!).

I'll try to keep you updated. But a lot of what is going on with me is emotional. And I love talking it out with friends, but it's hard when all I can say is  I am x, y, or z emotion. And it wouldn't make for a very good blog post....

whew. what. a. post. thanks for sticking it out with me! Love you all, and I'll hopefully write soon

xoxo,
KAS
 

Because I am still alive... if you were wondering

Shalom y'all,

So... new blog post. I felt a need to write this, although I am not sure where it will go, so bear with me today. I am stuck at the house for reasons I will explain, but for now UPDATE.

First: what have I been doing. Multiple choice test
a) injuring my foot
b) going to Tel Aviv
c) eating maklouba
d) seeing the movie warhorse
e) all of the above

did you guess e? GOOD JOB! A+! I did do all of that. So first. the foot.

As most of you know, I love working out. I love sweating, pushing myself, and feeling so damn strong after a workout. Recently, as I am kind of stuck with indoor workouts, I became obsessed with bodyrock (bodyrock.tv if you are interested). Only problem: I was using very very old shoes. And I am lazy about 1) going out to shop and 2) forking over a 100+ dollars for shoes.

My body however, did not like this. and decided enough was enough. So one morning about a week and half ago, my right leg was on fire when I walked on it. Immediately I thought "shin splints" even though i've never had them. Smart. So I stopped
walking
my circuit training (did do pushups and floor stuff...but no weight on the foot)

this had ramifications. Since I do not have a car or bike... i must rely on other people for rides. Let me tell you now: its a pain in the ass. People forget about me. Tutoring now is not just two hours, but four since i have to sit around waiting for rides. And I have a huge guilt trip b/c it feels like im inconveniencing people. But... I can't walk. If i could I would. And I will when I can (soon. its getting better!).

Other slight problem, my host family doesn't feel comfortable going into the Elsaneh family area. Something about interfamily violence. *sigh* no one else seems to understand it. So i can't get rides from them. It's frustrating, but I suppose I have to learn to rely on others too. gerrr.

Still, I went to Tel Aviv. I had a meeting for work and decided to stay. How did I get around with my foot? RENTED BICYCLES. awesomeness barely covers it. So it went well. I got my hair cut, new shoes, and stayed with my friend Lauren for the weekend. It was very chill and exactly what I wanted. I enjoy Tel Aviv a lot and it a long with Haifa would be places I could totally live in.

So food. So. much. Maklouba. One week I think I had it 3-4 times. It's great...but gah, sometimes a girl needs a break! Food has been a big issue for me because of my history of negativity with food. I'm just going to have to stand up and say thank you but no, i'm fine. some people will be upset, but i can say it's a cultural thing. i hope. The emotions I go through with feeling guilty after overeating/out of control aren't worth it at all. And I have to take care of myself. Intuitive eating is crucial for me not just physically, but mentally too.

Another break I took was to go see warhorse. By took I mean I was picked up from tutoring (before I knew about these family issues and the family still drove me) and they (the two eldest sons and their half brother) were going to the movies. Did I want to come? Seeing as I hadn't been to the movies...I said fuck it! Let's do it! And we saw warhorse. which was good. Strangeness: israeli movie theaters give you a five min break in the middle. for all the tiny bladder ppl: go to israel to see a movie. or just see them at home and save your money.

That's the main update. Crazy mental update: I have only 2 1/2 months left. EEEEEEEEP. i guess i need to start looking at plane tickets for coming home. So strange to think that's happening. Like how i thought about coming here. When you realize it's going to be a REALITY, it's hard to fathom. for so long it's been floating far and away, unrealistically.

To be fair, 2 1/2 months is a long time. Long enough for me to go to the UK in March and back. Long enough to do a few more trips, celebrate passover, and even complete another big project or two for work. I don't even plan on going home til the beginning of May.

It's also weird becasue I'm mentally preparing for the next steps. Preparing for leaving here. Preparing for work next year (Peace Corps interview next week!!! and I applied to a stateside jewish year long service program too. I like being poor and doing meaningful things. I also love canned beans which helps too)

So my to do list before I leave Israel
1. get healthy
2. go to petra
3. Visit the Kineret (which i sort of did)
4. Go to the West Bank (Ramallah, Bethlehem and maybe Nablus?)
5. Visit Haifa again
6. Figure out my way home (haha it's going to happen, but in case you were worried)

i'm sure i'll do some other things too. Will keep ya posted.
Love yall ooodles. Have a glass of wine for me! And a
~KAS

Tel Aviv, New Host, and my how time fliiiiies

Bonjour mes cheries!

(in case you don't know...that was french). So what has happened in my life since we last met? Great question, I'm so glad you asked

1. I went to Tel Aviv for the weekend. A great mental health choice (my liver wasn't so sure, but it was one weekend). I needed to get away, go out at night, and just take a breather from Lakiya. If there is a place to go for a weekend to do that: it's Israel. I couchsurfed as usual, but with a guy named Vladi. He's Russian but came to Israel after the fall of the USSR.

Nice guy, showed me some classic heavy metal which i must say i liked (well Iron Maiden...which is poppy but w/e). Hung out with him in the evenings and got to see the Russian side of night life, which was fun. We had the usual local russian bars and russian cover bands of russian muscians (talk about obscure references!). As well as the hippy band that wore rastafarian clothes, recited poetry, and shouted songs. I was also a fan of the 10 NIS (aka 3 dollar) glasses of champagne there.

I found it ironic that I went from one subculture of Israel to another. I showed him the Simpsons episode on Israel as well as Zoolander (i may have been reciting the lines most of the time but it was cool) Certainly gave me another view on Israel!

I also went to numerous coffee shops, read the newspaper, and wandered around Tel Aviv. I can't say it was the most eventful weekend, but it was fun. I met up with another American who now lives/works in Tel Aviv. She was nice/gave me some great tips for tutoring. Hopefully we can meet up again next time I come to Tel Aviv.

2. So after a weekend away, I was ready to be back in Lakiya again. And then... i moved houses. It was a suprise for me too. But I'm glad I did. The new family.... ummm i don't know all of their names/their family  name yet. I'll get on that. Totally different part of town and a different clan. It's a beautiful house, I have my own room (once again...they are being way too nice but its the Bedouin hospitality). Here's more of a bullet pt breakdown of the family

• The dad has two wives. I'm not sure if the one I am with is number 1 or 2. His father has....SEVEN. Polygamy definitely still happens here but it's off the books.
• The mom is from the north, not exactly sure where. This means her dialect is somewhat different so i have a hard time understanding. The kids use a blend of bedouin/levantine accent. It's cool.
• The mom is also a teacher in middle school. 
• Seven kids, 5 girls, 2 boys. Ranging from senior in high school to first grade. They are super nice and I enjoy playing with them. More on that later.
• They have internet on a net stick. I'm trying not to abuse it... and reduce my need for it. 
• THEY HAVE A HORSE AND I AM GONNA GET TO RIDE IT. i'm so pumped

So it's been an easier transition to their house. I have also been super busy with work, and tutoring this week. I'm glad I'm doing it, but now getting to the house where I tutor is like an hour long walk. Not so bad when the sun is setting, but afterwards it's dark... so i'm gonna need to get rides back/take more time  because of it.

Other things: we had a giant BYU group come yesterday. Mostly amazing because their group from last semester had come when I was in Israel for just two weeks. where has time gone? I felt far more confident with this group, my arabic is a million times better, and I had more fun with this group. Also shows how much I've adjusted here: they were all saying thank you so much. All I could think of was "why are you saying thank you...wait. omg I'VE BEEN ADJUSTING TO ISRAEL WITHOUT KNOWING IT!?!?!?!" I knew this would happen, but it's rare when you get to see it in yourself on the ground until you go home.

So i'm enjoying my new host home. I was playing with some of the girls this morning, showing them yoga poses, soccer, pushups, and a bunch of other things. Super fun, but needed some time to myself/to write this before Shabbat. I'm trying not to use electronics on shabbat. it doesn't always work, but i enjoy it so much when i really take that day like that.

Not much else to tell right now.. Looove y'all and have a fab weekend!
~KAS

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens” -Khalil Gibran

Hello strangahs! Hows life cookin for ya? I hope it's a delicious and hearty soup. From what I hear, it hasn't been a cold winter, but who doesn't love soup? I'm a bit hungry: it's lunch time here and I ate my snakc earlier :-( Anyways....

A few updates. I am tutoring now 2x a week, soon to be 3 days a week, and maybe the occasional weekend. It will be a nice little supplement to my income, get me off the computer, and get some more free food (Bedouins.. food, drinks, it happens). I enjoy it because I get to be creative (I'm going to be using Kid Cudi as a listening exercise today) and hang out with people (ok, kids, but they're people too).

I am also now on a cool site called cowbird. I will tell other stories from Israel, but it will be a different format. Take a peak here: http://cowbird.com/author/katie-simp/#/me

I also got a massage. Turns out there's a Russian lady people in Lakiya know who lives in Beersheba. Only issue: as a Russian immigrant she speaks like as much English as I do of Hebrew. So: I booked an appt with help from a random man on the other side of the phone. Hopped on the bus, grabbed a taxi and arrived at....a house in a random distant neighborhood. 

So: turns out she has a little (heated) shed behind her house with a bathroom and a table. She has all the oils etc, but it was certainly a different massage experience. Lights weren't dimmed, we listened to the radio. Cain and Lo (aka yes and no) got me through most of the massage. although... she left at one pt to get hot stones... and the door blew open. Thank god her backyard had a fence! All in all, for 45 USD, it was a well spent hour. I had neck pain like it's no ones business.

I'm gonna be honest: right now, I have not been as happy the past few weeks. Let me explain and why saying this (for me) is important. It's like my overall composition of emotions tends toward feeling sad/lonely. Which makes sense: I picked up my life, live in a small town where everyone has their friends and family, plus the language barrier which drives me CRAZAAAAY. 

Note for people picky with their words (ahem "you're cold? I'm Glenn" ahem): I know I am crazy. I delight in my insanity. I think it's awesome, unique, and who I am meant to be. most of you love me for it. Haters are gonna hate. My mother finds it hilarious (which I find hilarious). But for clarification: the language barrier irritates and frustrates me.

So, let me point out the things this doesn't mean

1. I do not regret my decision to come here. In fact: I don't believe in regret. You have to live to figure things out. Sometimes you learn the things you don't want before you learn the things you do. 
2. I don't want to come home right now. Yes, I miss my friends, family, my room, my animals and a dozen other things. But coming home early would be a terrible decision and be a hard adjustment as well.
3. I'm not paralyzed by this emotion: in fact I think it's been helpful to push me to do new things. It's pushed me to take on the tutoring in the afternoons, to travel more, get off my computer after work, and reach out to people.

What this does mean:

1. I'm seriously considering if I want to do the Peace Corps right after my time in Israel. I might need more than 3-4 months before going off again to a foreign country.
2. I need access to a Jewish community. I need that spiritual component in my life. Without it I feel...incomplete. Like I do if all I ate was french fries for lunch. You feel full, but not fed. Also, I miss it a lot.
3. I need to accept that I am not going to fully understand things in Arabic, but I can appreciate what I do get
4. It has provided a nice gauge of what is and isn't working for me, and the things I truly need in the long run. 
5. I am learning to deal with emotions and just being honest about them. Life is not always happiness and perfect. Even if I were in the states, working and surrounded by friends, family, and a Jewish community. Sometimes, I'm just sad. It's not a bad thing to be sad. In fact, it can teach me a lot (as you can see). But most importantly: emotions are fickle and changing. I can appreciate the moment, and know that it will pass, just like everything in life does. 

Number five is not easy. For a long time, being sad for me was A BAD THING. In American, we love happiness. I blame Thomas Jefferson ("pursuit of happiness" REALLY???). How many times have we said "I just want to be happy". I understand the desire, but being happy is a foolish goal. Chasing happiness is like chasing the wind: you have little control over it. 

And then, when you are sad, you are just trying to get rid of it, like ants that have infested your house. Instead of focusing on the food you leave spread around, all you see is OMG ANTS MUST KILL. So, wanting to please and be perfect: I chased happiness and tried to kill sadness. And hid it from friends and family (most of the time) because God forbid I should be unhappy. I swear there was a logic to it, but looking back, it does sound ridiculous.

What I have decided for now. Sadness, just like happiness, will come when it wants and leave when it wants. So I treat it with patience like an old neighbor I don't particularly like, but have come to respect. And it works for me. I do the things I love, and talk with friends and family, and enjoy what I can. Because this is it. Life. This moment. And I am determined to live it intentionally.

And so: I am going to Tel Aviv this weekend. Blow off some steam. Be a twenty something. Meet up with people, and talk only in English and broken Hebrew. I'll have more to tell you afterwards. But I have to say: writing this blog is HIGHLY enjoyable. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. If you don't: stop wasting your time. As always: feel free to leave comments, email me if you want to make this a conversation.

Much love!

KAS

“All real living is meeting,” -Martin Buber

Dear literate people,

Happy 2012! I hope that y'all had a good new years, and that you have health and happiness in the next year. But really: this blog is about me. 

So: if you have been keeping up to date: I went to Jerusalem. I actually went with very low expectation.s A city full of ultra orthodox Jews, religious tension, a barrier wall running through the city, and the only city in Israel to actually shut down (mostly on shabbat). Yet... I loved it.

Part of it I blame on all the Americans. Many of the Haredim are American immigrants. I would walk down Jaffa street, and hear mostly English. It was comforting after months of being on the street and hearing only Hebrew. Living in a foreign language can be exhausting, not having to work on that level for a bit was nice.

Second: I love Jerusalem stone. Its this light sandy color that is used in all of the buildings. It has this rough hewn texture, and keeps a consistency in the city despite over 2,000 years of architecture remaining in it. In a country full of ugly architecture: it was a relief seeing some pleasing asthetics. 

Third, I had a good time.Of course, it doesn't really reflect the city, but it affects my perspective. I never claimed to be objective :-) So here's what I did since Thursday.

Friday, I went hiking in a nearby park. My hosts were going to bury a friend's ashes, so i tagged along. It was beautiful and I'm glad I had an opportunity to hike for a bit. Afterwards, I met a couchsurfer from New Zealand (kiwis!). We grabbed lunch, walked around town, and proceeded to bar hop for the afternoon. It was nice to remember what its like drinking more than wine occasionally :-) New favorite bar drink: vodka and grapefruit juice.

Sarah is a interesting person. She had a kid young and has been working since. She had been working in Christ Church during the earthquake at a newspaper. Afterwards, realizing how mortal she was, she cashed her savings, said goodbye to her family and now grown son, and left. She ended up in Phuket, Thailand helping start an English paper there. Eventually quit, wandered in India and has now been in Israel for a few  months. She might even start volunteering teaching English in Nablus. She's a lot of fun, and I was glad to meet and have someone to hang out with during the day/have an excuse to drink in the day (it's rare that i get the opportunity these days... i appreciate it when i can).
 

Afterwards, I walked back to Lynne's home with her husband since Shabbat had started. It was a nice walk, and we had a good discussion about the Reform and Conservative movement, commandments, and doing things we do/don't like. He's a cool guy. Very sarcastic, but a lot of fun to talk with. We had a fantastic vegan dinner with some of their friends. I got an invite to spend a weekend up near Cesaria, and their friends were nice. Mostly american expats who had moved to Israel/Jerusalem. Which seems pretty common.

Saturday: A beautiful lazy day with Lynne and her family. I tried to keep shomer shabbat (although some work did crop up). I really just enjoyed relaxing with the kids, going for a walk and seeing the skyline of jerusalem, and chatting with Lynne (she kind of reminds me of my mom... although I think I have more patience for Lynne than my mom: sorry!). Eventually, I packed my bags, celebrated havdallah with their family, and hopped on a bus to my next hosts. 

I didn't realize how far out they live: it was in Ein Chemed a suburb of Jerusalem and just enough of a pain in the ass that I was uncomfortable trying to go out and meet Sarah the Kiwi for drinks. So it was an early night instead. Still, my hosts were nice, and I chatted with them. I found out that Gadi is a criminal lawyer who also writes music reviews for one of the main papers/writes his own music too. Tamar, his girlfriend, had lived in the US growing up and her mom still works for the Israeli Foreign Ministry. 

My last full day in Jerusalem: I saw the Kotel, Temple Mount, and more of the insides of the old city. Next time I want to do Mount Olives/Mt Scopus since i didn't get there.  It was nice going back to the Kotel. As i say this I have a lot of problems with it. The women's side is TINY and cramped and the men have an excess of space (another example of how separate is never equal). Women are not allowed to read Torah at the wall While I have mixed feelings about it

Still, the Temple Mount is a beautiful spot. The rabbis say its against Jewish law because the spot is too holy.  Its quite, wide open spaces (it's actually huge, I had no idea). I cansee why so many find it such a holy spot. I don't think I believe that there is one spot in the world to connect with God the way ancient Jews did. God is everywhere, and it is a matter of opening your heart and mind. Still, I think some spaces lend themselves to opening,and the Temple Mount is one. 

There are two gorgeous pieces of the height of Islamic architecture: Al Aqsa mosque (smaller, silver domed, and holier) and dome of the rock (famous golden dome). Arches, mosaics, caligraphy, color, YOU NAME IT. I was so happy, Islamic architecutre is some of the most beautiful and seeing the detail put in these buildings was breathtaking.

Afterwards, I met Sarah for a late lunch, drinks, and wandering around Jerusalem. We went to the super orthodox neighborhood (where they find women wearing pants offensive). On the one hand, it was fascinating, it felt like a shtetl. On the other hand, I felt like walking on eggshells. People were staring, and in the end we were offending (with wearing jeans). On the one hand, I thought they were ridiculous, and on the other hand, I felt like I was being super insensitive. If it were an indian village, I would understand. But because they are jews living in Jerusalem... I suppose it is different levels of acceptance.

Eventually, back to Ein Chemed for the evening, and then got up in the morning and went to the Central Bus Station. Caught an early bus back to Beersheba and was back in Lakiya by 1230 (wouldve been 1130 but it wasn't  because i missed my connecting bus by like a minute). 

Since then: work. Only other exciting news: I am going to start tutoring. It's the kids of Foud, the brother of my last host, Rogiya. They have 3 boys, one girl. I will be coming over 2x a week, one hour/visit with Basel, the eldest son, and 1/2 hour/week with their daughter Hanan. I'll be making (a little) money from it, plus its something to do in the afternoon and shouldn't affect my traveling schedule.

So that's life right now, love and miss you all,

KAS